


Beginning of the End

by StarlightHawke



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Breakup, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-02-07 06:51:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21453814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarlightHawke/pseuds/StarlightHawke
Summary: When Seven asks to go on a break.
Relationships: 707 | Choi Luciel/Kim Yoosung
Comments: 5
Kudos: 114





	Beginning of the End

In a way, Yoosung knew this was coming. Even the brightest optimism couldn’t cancel out all of the glaring red flags, no matter how determined he was to look the other way.

He might be a bit naive, but he’s not oblivious.

Though sometimes he wishes he were. Then perhaps he wouldn’t be here, in the parking lot of SKY University on a Saturday morning, forehead smashed against the steering wheel of a car he no longer has any business driving. Maybe he could have gone on thinking things were going well, that it was just the stress that comes with the time of year and navigating a relationship through trauma. Yeah, it wouldn’t have been healthy, but healthy is the last thing he cares about right now.

With a heart rent into a million tiny pieces, the pain is almost too much for him.

_ “I think we need to take a break.” Seven shifted uncomfortably in his chair, turned away from the monitor to fully face Yoosung for the first time in… months, at least. “I’m still too fucked for this. There’s too much going on, and I can’t do it all. My issues, your issues, Saeran’s recovery…” _

_ Fat tears spilled down reddened cheeks, Yoosung’s eyes trained on the floor. He’d been crying this entire conversation despite many attempts to stop. A tree wasn’t stiffer than him, every muscle in his body clenched as he shook, the pure force of the emotions rushing through him threatening to burst out. “Is that what you want?” _

_ “I do.” _

_ The answer was instant, no hesitation. Closing his eyes, Yoosung took a deep, stuttering breath through his nose. “Okay.” It was a lackluster response, but what else was there to say? He could’ve said no, like the last time Seven mentioned it, but obviously all that would do would be to prolong the inevitable. _

The tears are falling again, have been since he left the bunker. God, he’s so tired of crying. The moment he’s alone, no longer at school or work, he breaks. No more distractions, left with the cruelty of his own thoughts and a feeling he can only compare to someone wrenching his ribs wide open. Not even sleep will allow him respite; insomnia has set in, making him even more miserable between the inability to sleep and the exhaustion settling in his bones. Dreams haunted by heartbreak and his carefully constructed future smashing to the ground are his reward when he finally crashes. For the first time since he stopped playing LOLOL dark circles are under his eyes, no doubt made worse by the constant flow of tears. How much can one person cry, anyway? Surely he should be dehydrated by now. Or something. Maybe not, since he does still try to drink water.

Which is a major chore. Taking care of himself in general the past few days has been. He’s made so much progress in who he is as a person, choosing healthier habits than even six months ago. It’s tempting to fall into the depression and let the feelings overwhelm him, not eating or drinking water. But he can’t. He can’t let one thing ruin everything he’s worked so hard for, even if that one thing was part of the reason he started getting his shit together. 

The shuddering inhale he takes between sobs is loud in the quiet of the car. Too loud. Weaving his fingers into his hair, he tugs at it, surrendering to the unforgiving waves of emotion. What else can he do, really? It’s impossible to move on if he tries to stuff it down, and he doesn’t have a choice. To move on, that is. Seven isn’t kicking him out, not even making him sleep on the couch. Honestly that’s crueler, in a way. Still seeing the man he’s so deeply in love with when he wakes up in the morning and when he comes to bed. Passing him in the hallway, in the kitchen. Even the sight of Saeran, with his hair growing out to its natural red, makes him feel like he’s crumbling. 

Saeran. Hah. The quiet twin who likes to stay hidden actually found him outside last night, crying on the steps under the stars. He didn’t say anything, sitting down next to Yoosung and offering a bowl of ice cream. It was a bit of a shock, honestly. Of course he took it, noting that Saeran had a bowl of his own, and they sat in silence as they ate and Yoosung cried. Saeran stayed for a while even after they finished, seeming to understand that just his presence helped muffle the roaring loneliness in Yoosung’s chest.

He gave him a hug before returning indoors. Yoosung didn’t realize how badly he needed one until that moment, and he broke down all over again. Saeran let him cry on his shoulder, gently rubbing his back until he regained some semblance of control and pulled away, hiccuping. The small, understanding smile on that eerily familiar face hurt almost as much as the words Seven had spoken. 

Yoosung doesn’t know how to move past this. A break. Isn’t a break… just breaking up while leaving the door open to potentially get back together? So he’s single. And Seven is… his ex-boyfriend. 

The tears renew at that thought.

Ah, he shouldn’t let his thoughts go this path. It’s only making the pain even more devastating, the emptiness in his chest growing larger and threatening to swallow him while.

Sniffling, he drags his arm across his eyes. Is it even possible to move on if still in the presence of the person you love? Maybe he should look into getting his own apartment again. His parents might help him, since his grades are so high. Until then he’ll just have to find ways to not be there. To work through his feelings without constantly being reminded of what he’s lost.

At least he can stop trying to fix a broken relationship. No longer feel like he’s banging his head against a wall or shouting into the void when trying to be a loving boyfriend. 

No longer feel like nothing he does will ever be enough for Seven.

Even though many people take breaks and wait to see if they get back together, he doesn’t think he has it in him to do that. Not if this is how it feels. No, he needs to get over Seven. Reprogram himself to see him as the friend he used to be. Not even best, that’s too close. He’ll have to hold him at a distance until he can trust his heart not to fall all over again.

He can do this, of course he can. He’s done harder things. He can go back to being Yoosung, period. Full stop. Not Yoosung-and-Seven. Not “my-boyfriend-is-amazing” Yoosung. Just Yoosung. Yoosung Kim, future vet. Yoosung Kim, member of the RFA and best friends with MC. Yoosung Kim.

But god, if it isn’t going to fucking suck until then.


End file.
